It’s OK to Be Angry: Managing the Emotions That Can Come With Cancer

“Stay strong.” “Keep fighting.” “You’ve got this.” These are well-intentioned words people often hear after a cancer diagnosis. But there’s another emotion that doesn’t always get talked about as much: anger.

Anger is a natural response to stress, fear and crisis. And a cancer diagnosis can give you plenty to be angry about.

You may be angry about what your family is going through. You may be angry about what you’re losing – a part of your body, your independence or your ability to do things you once took for granted. You may be angry that you did “everything right” and still developed cancer.

Then there’s the all-consuming nature of cancer: the appointments, treatments, phone calls and endless planning. There can be financial stress, insurance headaches, pain, nausea, extreme fatigue and other side effects. And sometimes, it can be difficult to explain that anger to people who simply don’t understand what you’re experiencing. Even seeing pink everywhere during breast cancer awareness month can bring complicated feelings when you know how much more needs to be done to support people actually living with the disease.

So, what do you do with all that anger? First, give yourself permission to feel it. You don’t have to be positive every minute of every day. Acknowledging anger doesn’t mean you’re giving up or not “fighting.” Here is some other useful insight:

•    Find a healthy outlet. Talk with someone you trust, write in a journal, take a walk, exercise if you’re able, listen to music or simply give yourself some quiet time. Find what helps you release the emotion rather than bottle it up.

•    Set boundaries. It’s OK to tell people when you don’t want advice, questions or cancer-related conversation. It’s also OK to step away from social media or anything else that feels overwhelming.

•    Ask for help. A counselor, support group, social worker or your healthcare team can provide tools for managing difficult emotions. If anger feels constant, uncontrollable or begins affecting your relationships or daily life, let your healthcare provider know.

Cancer may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to dictate how you feel every moment of it. There is room for hope, fear, sadness – and yes, anger – along the way.